"Why are you so guarded?"
That is the question, isn't it? It makes perfect sense to me but when I open my mouth to explain there's nothing. Quickly my mind searches for words and my throat releases some strange noise I've never heard myself make. He looks at me, an eyebrow raised, waiting for an answer. But I have no response. My mouth closes and my eyes close. Why is this so difficult? Fear of the unknown. Nothing is guaranteed.
He leans over. I feel the warmth of his cheek on mine as he whispers in my ear. There's a stinging in my eyes. I bite my lip.
The truth is always staring us in the face, out in plain view for all to see. It only becomes difficult to see because we have preconceived notions and ideas. We muddle everything up. As usual. We're good at that. Or maybe it's just me. I tend to think not.
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm standing on the edge of the dark. I know there's a road before me but I can only see a few feet ahead of me. All I have to do is take another step and I'll see a little further. I hesitate. I talk to myself frequently, arguing about my options. Some days are better than others. And some moments are easier than others. I guess the best thing to do is take a breath and place my foot forward. Calculated risks... Risk nothing, gain nothing.
Tid-bits
- Mandalina
- Slightly to the left of Right Here, Illinois, United States
- Me... I'm lots of things. Some things you'd expect, many you wouldn't. I'm open, honest, kind, blah, blah, blah... are you still reading this? Wow... Read the blog. Then you'll have some insight into who I am. I'm ever evolving. I'm a work in progress, as most people should be.
4 comments:
There is risk in everything, but you can't be afraid of the risk. It is better to move forward and have risks and results and consequences than to sit still and accomplish nothing. Sure sometimes pain happens.
And yes, pain sucks, but like you said, "risk nothing, gain nothing." It sounds like you know you don't want to sit still but you don't know how to push forward. I say make some messes. And then try to find the beauty in each one despite its "messiness".
Do you like how I broke this up into three posts? I got distracted. I appologize.
Thanks, Eryka! I do love how you broke it up! :p
You're right. And I have an update but I'll make a new post rather than putting it in a comment.
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