Yes, I know. It's been far too long since my last post. I've been busy with life. My journals are usually paper and ink first. I have a load of them to enter. I'll do that in time. For now, I thought I'd post a little update and release some of the things in my head.
The past few weeks have been difficult. My father is ill. This is not a surprise to me but is to him and Mum. He's made some amazing changes and I'm so proud of him. I just wish he had been so determined earlier in his life when we were all begging him to take better care. I was instructed this evening to continue to focus on my studies and graduate as planned no matter what. This frightens me. What does that mean? It's a warning, an omen. He knows something that he's not sharing. I can feel it. Something is going to happen. He said even if he's hospitalized I may call and visit briefly but my mind must be focused on school. I agreed, reluctantly. He made me promise. I didn't want to but it's so important to him. I hate disappointing him and I'd really rather not go against him.
My mother called today from yet another hotel. It pains me to speak with her. The conversation is always one-sided. There's very little talk about me. I feel more like a therapist than a daughter. Over the weekend I bought a t-shirt at Old Navy for $5 (love that store sometimes!) that reads "I [heart] MOM." It most certainly wasn't with my biological mother in mind. When I realized that I wanted to show Mum rather than Ma it made me a little sad. As a very wise man has said to many times, "It is what it is."
That wise man has become quite important to me as of late. He's quite surprising. Often he knows what I'm thinking before I ever say a word. It's as if he sees inside me. Sometimes that's a bit unnerving but it's beginning to grow on me. I like having someone in my life that knows me so well. He keeps me in line and gives me those reality checks I so desperately need from time to time. There's so much I could say about him. I'm not even sure where to begin. I'll have to ponder that, write it out a bit, collect my thoughts and form them into something coherent.
Keep watching.
Tid-bits
- Mandalina
- Slightly to the left of Right Here, Illinois, United States
- Me... I'm lots of things. Some things you'd expect, many you wouldn't. I'm open, honest, kind, blah, blah, blah... are you still reading this? Wow... Read the blog. Then you'll have some insight into who I am. I'm ever evolving. I'm a work in progress, as most people should be.
2 comments:
Yea for updates!
Its really special (to say the least) when someone knows you so well they know your thoughts before you even realize you have them. Hold on to that one because it's a rarity.
On the topic of parents, biological and not so much. I feel ya. Biological are always so much harder to deal with. And the less than biological but oh so more important ones make the biological ones so much easier to accept. Maybe they are presents from God.
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